I get motivated to do things at the darkest hours… then I procrastinate and never do anything.
- 02:14
I’m tired, but I don’t want to sleep because I know that when I wake up it’ll be the stary of a tiring week.
- 00:51
[The day I got stabbed… by needles]
It was 3 days ago, just an ordinary day, and I was on a short summer break. The morning began with family dimsum; it was quite a sunny day. I met up with a couple engineer buddies of mine, G & N, and we headed down to the blood clinic to donate. It’s sort of a tradition of ours, to go donate together. We hadn’t went in over a year, and everything was still the same. After a prick on the finger to check the blood levels, we filled in a quick questionnaire, and proceeded to give blood. I hate the needle; it’s a massive tube that they shove into your arm and I absolutely hate it. Well it’s not thay bad, but after my first donation, I haven’t looked at the needle in my arm. I always ask to have it covered up, even though they probably do it anyways. I get it drawn from my left arm since I’m right handed.
So after, we follow procedure and stay for a while, eating cookies and drinming juice to rehydrate and raise sugar levels. I feel fine. We walk to a BBT shop and proceed to get drinks and hang around. I feel fine. After, we walk back to the skytrain. A couple stations in I feel a bit dehydrated. That’s weird, I swear I drank half a litre before the clinic and lots more after. As we approach the third station, I feel light headed. I think I’ll be okay, but seconds after I feel my head start to spin. I grab G, telling him I needed to get off at the next station. He replies positively. The next thing I know, I’m leaning heavily against a pole, probably freaking out the girl sitting on the chair. All I can do is try and hold on to the pole the best I can. I hear N tell me to hold on to him and G. I grabbed G by the shoulder.
Suddenly I’m seated on a chair on the skytrain platform, my head spinning. I’m short of breath and have a nauseating feeling. I notice my pants are absolutely soaked; I guess I blacked out and pissed myself. I just hope I didn’t have a seizure. The transit worker asks me if I’m alright, and I say no. I hear him speaking to my friends but I just feel like falling to the ground. I ask to lay down. No one hears me. I place my hand on the ground to stop myself from falling over. I ask again and this time they hear me. The transit worker gets a wool blanket, which I lie down on and am covered by. Over the next half hour, I just remember everytime the announcement would go “Outbound train to…” then the transit guy would say “Jeff, are you still with me”, to which I would slightly nod my head.
EMS came, and loaded me onto a stretcher. On the way to the hospital I was questioned about my identification, plus another prick on the finger. At the hospital, I am asked for more information. When it comes to emergency contact, I give one of my friend’s numbers. Shit, I gave the wrong number. For the next 5 minutes I was trying to see if I really did give the right number or not. I get seated in a wheeled chair, and they proceed to draw blood from my right arm. I get a bunch of stickers and wires stuck to me, as they look for an irregular pulse. Everything seems okay so far. From here on, G wheels me to the waiting room. N wanted to drive down to the hospital since only one passenger was allowed on the ambulance. I tell G to tell N that I should be okay. My friend T notified my parents and would bring me clothes after his work.
Over the next couple hours, I would chat with G and T. During that time I felt like I was waking up, except over 3 hours. The wait was long, but my blood tests were all right. After doing some final checks on my breathing, heart, and movement, I am allowed to go. They take another small same of blood, using my right arm again, for further tests. They conclude that I fainted due to low blood pressure. Since I had recently donated blood, there was not enough to go up to my head, thus causing my head to rush downwards and faint.
The whole ordeal is over, and I’ve taken the last few days to rest. This was the first time I’ve fainted and also the first time I’ve needed to go to the hospital for an incident. I was definately scared when I was beginning to blackout.The feeling of helplessness was the worst. In the end, I got about 750mL of blood removed from me that day. People have asked me if I’m still going to donate. Of course I am, just that I have to take more caution next time around.
Hmm it’s been a while, but I’m done with exams and in my break. I still haven’t decided what to do during the summer, but at least I’ve started exercising more. It’s mostly been video games, plus exercise, work, and hanging out.
I guess I’m doing good?
- 22:57
It’s only been 12 hours and yet it feels like weeks have gone by. That’s good, I guess. I feel like I’m back on track now.
- 02:07
So many unanswered questions.
-02:16
And a new chapter of his life began as another came to a close.
-19:03
It’s probably the worst week I’ve had in a while, and I haven’t felt this way since I entered university. I can only be in control of myself, and to keep smiling.
-12:34
Time contraints are annoying… everything feels rushed.
- 01:52
I’m frustrated, annoyed, confused, anxious, stressed, and everything more. I feel like everytime I restrain myself, it hurts myself. Why even bother? Just because I feel it’s morally right?- 02:15
What a rough way to start off my week. I tell myself it can’t get any worse, but that’s not true. In fact it has the potential to be freaking terrible. I haven’t gotten any work done, and it’s all crashing down on me. It’s partially cause I’m lazy but mostly because of an excess of stress. Time is running out…
-01:43Over the last week, I’ve been feeling pretty busy since I am dog sitting and my family is gone on vacay. I enjoy the freedom but it also wears me out pretty quickly. At least my midterms are over.
Only 128 left. It seems like a lot but it’s just 2^7. Maybe I’m just overthinking things and it’s much simpler than it seems.
- 02:21
I don’t know what you’re thinking or why you’re acting so strange to me. Maybe it’s just me, but it doesn’t seem that way. Only thing I can do is continue to stay positive.
-19:03
It’s that time of the year again… exams. It’s weird, but I can’t help but overthink things. Things that don’t matter, yet they matter to me. There’s so many questions that I have. I should probably just ditch everything and be a study bug.
-02:01